Breaking the Echo of "I Am Not Liked"

Have you ever noticed that the moment you put your views across and take a stand for yourself, it feels as if the person you stood up to will no longer like you?Immediately, there is guilt and self-blame.

It’s interesting how, even when we say the right things, we may still feel disliked simply because we did not align with another person’s perspective. But what if being disliked is not the real wound, but a shield-one that once protected you from a deeper pain?

This experience is often connected to our family system:

• Who in your family did not seem to like you?

• How did it feel when their approval was missing?

• Did you find yourself feeling guilty and blaming yourself, just to stay connected and belong?

When children grow up receiving more criticism than appreciation, or when their voices are silenced, they may carry the deep wound: “I am not liked.”Sometimes, it feels safer to believe “I am not liked” than to challenge an adult who seemed too powerful to confront.

This trauma often passes across generations. Parents, too, may have been victims of the same wound. And so, as adults, we unconsciously revisit the same painful places, bound by a silent loyalty- repeating the familial narrative: “I am not likable.”

And yet, as Bert Hellinger reminds us:“The specific weight of the soul is what has been dared.”Each time you dare to speak your truth, your soul grows stronger, heavier, more alive.

Love can move freely in the family when you give yourself permission to speak your truth. Let’s break familiar patterns and move towards those which could set you free. You deserve to be liked, respected, and heard. Speaking up is not disconnection- it is reclaiming your place, your dignity, and your belonging.